They are engaged, working on the “getting married” thing, and have every intention of having lots of children and staying together for at least one lifetime.
And all this despite Mike having two other girlfriends and Alicorn having three other boyfriends including one who lives with her.
For a twenty-eight year old, I am really good at sighing and saying “Kids these days! I was going to make an analogy to desegregation here, how white people thought having black kids in their schools would be a disaster, and then it happened, and the world didn’t collapse into a hell dimension or anything, and after a few years it just seemed like the normal order.
I like cuddling people, kissing people, falling in love with people, petting people’s hair, writing sonnets about people, and a few things less blogaboutable, but having sex isn’t an especially interesting experience for me.I treat it kind of like watching a chick flick – something one might do to get the nice warm feeling of doing romantic things and bonding as a couple, but wait a second why the heck is she kissing him now and that scene made no sense and THIS MOVIE HAS NO PLOT HOW DID IT MAKE 0 MILLION AT THE BOX OFFICE?As opposed to this tiny-to-nonexistant role of jealousy, I think pretty much everyone here has experienced compersion.Compersion is the opposite of jealousy, being really happy for your partner when they meet someone new and they are obviously happy.I know this hasn’t been anywhere close to the experience of all polyamorous people, but it’s my experience and that of the people I’ve talked to most about this.
My roommate Mike dates the same three people I am dating, including Alicorn who also lives with us (this is not normal for polyamory, and all three people started dating Mike and then met me and started dating me too, so I guess the moral of the story is to think very hard before accepting me as a roommate).If there is a Heaven, I assume compersion will be a big part of its emotional repertoire. I don’t drink much, not because I’m especially virtuous but because I hate the taste of alcohol and the atmosphere of bars and parties.In the same way, I’m not promiscuous, not because I’m especially virtuous but because I’m sort of borderline asexual.Two weeks ago, Mike and I took all three of our mutual girlfriends on a group date to Sausalito.It went really well, everyone got along, and it is something we would do more often if not for scheduling and travel issues (also, Sausalito is really expensive).At least in my very limited experience, jealousy is a paper tiger, sort of the post-9/11 al-Qaeda of emotional states.