If you ever decide to uninstall Magnifying Glass it is important to terminate the program first if it is still running. My pulse is weak and my blood is thin, But I'm awfully well for the shape that I'm in.
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police. It is harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick 3. Of course I'm against sin; I'm against anything that I'm too old to enjoy. Having a "meaningful relationship" meant getting along with your cousins.Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier. If you've never smoked, you can start now and it won't have time to hurt your health. At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take a laxative. Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.So, Someone made a sincere study of the situation, and here are the results. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios.And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey. You could buy a brand new Chevvy for 0 and gas for it was 11 cents a gallon.The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals. Next, start putting a few potatoes in the sacks, but be careful not to overdo it. The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out. Isn't that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds?
You feel like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. It's hard to be nostalgic when ou can't remember anything. - The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends and have begun to grow in the middle. The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through the government. Fast food was what you ate during Lent and Outer Space was the back of the local theatre.
I cannot see I cannot pee I cannot chew I cannot screw Good grief, what can I do? We preceded house-husbands, gay rights, computer dating, dual careers and commuter marriages.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions. You walk with your head high trying to get used to your bifocals. You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation. Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by. Your joints are more accurate at predicting weather than the Weather man. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. Sex life is shot, its a thing of the past, Don't kid yourself, friends, even that doesn't last. - Ah, being young may be beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today..." You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones. After painting the town red, you have to take along rest before applying a second coat. You're startled the first time you are addressed as an old timer. The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off. The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife. Can't go to parties, don't dance anymore, Just putting it mildly, you're a hell of a bore. - Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald and have such terrible eyesight, they don't recognize you.
You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall. You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you. Be sure your affairs are in order, your will made out right Or on the way to your grave there'll be a heck of a fight. Dishwashers were human, clothes dryers were long ropes, air conditioners involved melting ice and jogging had something to do with the memory. Designer jeans were scheming girls named Jean, and having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with our relatives.