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Bill agreed to let me stay those few extra weeks on two conditions: first, I could not talk to Rachel at all during this time (a request I obeyed) and second, I had to stay with him in his office every evening after work as long as he was there (which I complied with as well).Prior to this, I had not spent much time in Bill Gothard’s office, and I was surprised to observe that Bill Gothard frequently counseled young ladies in his office.It didn’t occur to me that I had done anything inappropriate, nor did I feel like I had broken any rules. I was stunned the next morning when I was summoned to Bill Gothard’s office.

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While I would talk to these young ladies on occasion, I was well aware of IBLP’s stance that this should be a season of ministry, and that I needed to be careful not to “defraud” any of the young ladies at Headquarters by giving any of them undue attention.I also knew my parents would be upset with me if I were sent home for violating any staff rules, so I purposed to be very careful.Bill Gothard told me that Rachel was not like the other girls at Headquarters.He said she was fragile and was dealing with emotional issues, and that the last thing she needed at this time in her life was a young man like me trying to win her heart.When Bill Gothard told me that Rachel was the young woman to whom he was referring, I was stunned.

I’d only spoken to her those few times and I didn’t feel that either of us had said anything that was inappropriate.I remember she laughed a few times, and afterward I thought to myself, “that went well.” A few days later I ran into Rachel outside the Staff Center and we chatted for about 15 minutes.Again, I didn’t give the conversation a second thought as there were plenty of people walking past us as they came in and out of the Staff Center.In light of my “crime” this seemed like a double standard to me.Any phone calls that came into his office would be put on speaker phone, without Bill informing the caller that others were listening.He said that I was making her life confusing and could cause her more stress—or something like that.