Jealousy is a natural emotion, and it is neither good nor bad. The important thing is learning how to deal with it, and how to overcome the feeling itself.People have been feeling jealous over their partner’s exes from the dawn of time, so there’s no need to feel bad. You’re human and therefore curious about your partner’s ex.“Don’t beat yourself up for having these feelings—everyone does.
We learn from the stories and anecdotes of others, so you want to figure out what attracted them to each other.
And, naturally, you want to know why they broke up,” says intuitive life coach and writer Debra Smouse.
Of course, don’t make your jealousy the focal point of every session of deep connection that you have with your partner.
Address it, be honest, and allow yourself to move on from it.
Not only will this be good for helping you get over feeling jealous over your partner’s ex, but it will also benefit you in the long run throughout the rest of your life.
It’s good to have a sounding board in order to talk through what you’re feeling, especially if you can’t pinpoint the exact reason for your jealousy in the first place.
A therapist or counselor can help you talk through your insecurities. Perhaps your jealousy stems from feeling like your connection with your partner isn’t as strong as it could be.
If this is the case, the best way to move beyond your jealousy is to work on connecting with your partner.
The first step to overcoming the jealousy you feel is to, of course, recognize that what you’re feeling is jealousy. After all, having or feeling an emotion is a neutral thing, whether or not the emotion is positive or negative.“” says relationship counsellor and Gestalt therapist Clinton Power.
Confronting yourself and asking yourself why you’re focused on a relationship that your partner is no longer in can be a good tool in helping yourself overcome the feeling of jealousy in the first place. Do you feel like your relationship needs something to be on par with your partner’s past relationship?
However, you may want to learn to move on and overcome this feeling for your own peace of mind.